Re: OT: Safe Riddles

From: John Fields (jfields_at_austininstruments.com)
Date: 01/17/05 

Date: Mon, 17 Jan 2005 15:51:24 -0600

On Mon, 17 Jan 2005 07:19:08 -0600, "Rhyanon" <pissoff@uberbitch.com>
wrote:

>My game is you are Screwed no matter what you do, my dear little knob -
>bobber. You're a hypocrite, making you one step below a cockroach. Lie to
>yourself all you like, you're nothing but a mamby pamby, whining, asslicking
>catamite without the balls to do anything but cryyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy about the
>meeenyheads who won't go 'way. Heh. Choke on it, uncklefucker. 

---
        THE HAPPY CATAMITE
His daddy's *** way up his ass,
Rhyanon thinks himself a lass.
And yes, the thought sure seems to fit
while Mommy sucks his half-inch ***.
But how did all this come to be?
The sordid facts you'll all soon see...
When he was young and full of vim,
Rhyanon's "dad", (whose mame was Jim)
went off to fight in World War One
and left behind no wife or son.
Well, Jim did OK in the war; 
got drunk one day, married a whore,
and brought her back as soldiers did
and then one day they had a kid.
Brown hair and eyes and olive skin,
all quite unlike his Irish kin.
And "Premature!", his dear wife cried,
but at eight pounds, he knew she lied.
"Let's call him 'Mario'", she plead,
"That's what you want? OK." Jim said,
recalling Mario had been
the pimp from whom he'd saved her skin.
Then years went by and the boy grew,
and at thirteen his whore Mom knew
she wanted him to share her bed
and got damp thinking 'bout giving him head.
Then one day he was on the pot
with *** in hand and pictures hot,
when in walks Mommy, bold as brass,
and drops her robe and shows her ass.
Well, you can all just guess the rest,
with Rhyanon they all were blessed
about nine months after the date
his brother became his mom's mate.
Ol' Jim was waiting for red hair
and blue eyes, and skin white and fair,
but once again to his chagrin,
it popped out with dark eyes and skin.
But at the apex of its thighs
was nothing there of any size.
No genitals that one could see,
but just a knob through which to pee.
Jim then went very slowly mad
and just stopped thinking like a dad
and turned to booze to shut out life 
and lost all interest in his wife.
By now she also didn't care
and figured life had been unfair 
and so she told 'bout whom she'd laid
and 'bout the way the kids were made.
Well, no one really gave a damn
and Rhyanon, meek as a lamb
was brought up like a little girl
because his *** would not unfurl.
Then when Ol' Jim first buggered him
(done on a raging drunkard's whim)
he figured, "Mario's Mom's boy,
so I'll be Dad's girl and enjoy!"
And so that family survives,
a drunk, a whore, four ruined lives,
but Rhyanon's the happiest of lads,
he's got a brother and two Dads!
-- 
John Fields